{THE UNCHERISHED}

Saturday, August 20, 2005

NOT EVERYTHING IN THIS ENTIRE WORLD CAN BE JOKED AT. YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE?? TO YOU IT MAY SEEM SO. BUT HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF WHAT I WOULD FEEL?? I HAVE FEELINGS TOO!THE WORLD DOES NOT ONLY REVOLVE AROUND YOU TOO. DOESN'T MEAN THAT I LET YOU GUYS MAKE A JOKE OUT OF ME ALL THE TIME MEANS THAT I DON'T CARE ABOUT IT. I DO!!! BUT IT'S NOT SO SERIOUS. I JUST LET IT GO. BUT RELATIONSHIPS?? THAT'S GOING WAY TO FAR. IM SERIOUS ABOUT IT. LOOK AT MY FAMILY AND YOU'LL KNOW WHY. IT'S NOT A MATTER THAT CAN BE JOKED ABOUT. YES. IM ONLY 16!! SO? I WANT TO PUT MY HEART AND SOUL INTO WHENEVER I GET IN TO ONE. THAT'S ONLY IF I GET TO. IM NOT AS LUCKY AS YOU. YOU HAVE A PERFECT AND HAPPY FAMILY. YOU HAD BOYFRIENDS. YOU'RE SMART. YOU PRACTICALLY HAVE THE LIFE THAT YOU SIMPLY ADORE RIGHT NOW. I DON'T. THOUGH I MAY SAY THAT IM CONTENTED WITH WHAT I HAVE. JUST MY FRIENDS,FAMILY AND GOD. I AM. BUT SOMETIMES I ASK MYSELF. WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY?? WHY CAN'T I BE LIKE SOMEONE ELSE?? THIS INFERIORITY KILLS ME. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T TAKE JOKES SERIOUSLY?? THEN WHAT HAS HAPPENED OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS OF FRIENDSHIPS. I TREASURED IT SO MUCH. SO WHENEVER YOU GUYS JOKE ABOUT ME, I JUST LAUGH ALONG. I DIDN'T WANT TO BE ANGRY. I WAS AFRAID OF LOSING MY FRIENDS. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ME ANGRY WITH YOU GUYS?? BARELY EVEN SO. I COULD USE ONE HAND TO COUNT YHE NUMBER OF TIMES I WAS ANGRY AT YOU PEOPLE. AND NOW THIS HAS HAPPENED AND I APOLOGISE. BUT WHAT YOU WROTE ON YOUR BLOG WAS SHATTERING. YES. I AM A FUCKING BITCH. THERE. I'VE SAID IT. IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED. I JUST ANOTHER IRRITATING BITCH THAT HAS NO LIFE. NO LOVE. A DISFUNCTIONAL FAMILY. NO LOOKS. NO SHAPE. NO BRAINS. TO SUMMARISE IT ALL. I'M A FUCKING LOSER. I NEVER WANTED THIS TO HAPPEN. NEVER.

YOU ALL WOULD STILL BE MY BESTEST BEST FRIENDS AND I THANK GOD FOR YOU PEOPLE. THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE WHEN I WAS DOWN. THANK YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME. MY LATENESS AND ALL. THANKS FOR ALL THE LAUGHTER WE HAD AND STILL TO COME. YOU PEOLE WILL BE THE THIRD LAST THING THAT I WOULD NOT WANT TO LOSE. THERE'S STILL GOD AND FAMILY. I TREASURE THESE THREE THINGS THE MOST IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. SO I AM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING.
i won't hate you people. in fact. i simply love you guys. maybe quarrels like these will strengthen our friendship. you guys are the motivation to push me on. pushing me to believe in myself. in loving myself. it's in you guys that i find the real me. thank you guys so much. i appreciate you guys being there for me. even if i had to apologise for the words i said which in turn hurts me so. everything i say comes from the bottom of my heart. i treasure these gifts that God has provided me with. that's why i hate it whenever my mom talks bad about you people. when she don't let me go to church. you people and GOD mean so much to me that i'll never want to let it go.
IM SORRY RACHEL. SORRY THAT I WAS A PAIN. THAT I TOOK THIS JOKE TOO SERIOUSLY. YOU CAN STILL JOKE AND SHIT AROUND ME. IM FINE WITH IT. I'LL JUST GO ALONG WITH IT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A BORING PERSON. JUST BE THE WAY YOU ARE. THAT'S WHAT MAKE YOU ... YOU. IM SO, SO SORRY...

ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?

2:15 PM
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